Key & Peele – Shady Landlord

Key & Peele – Shady Landlord


– THAT’S TRUE. [pounding at door] – IT’S YOUR LANDLORD!
[pounding continues] – HEY, DEVON. – HEY, HOW YOU DOING, BROTHER? HOW YOU DOING?
YEAH. JUST, UH, STOPPING BY. JUST WANTED TO CHECK UP
ON EVERYTHING. – OKAY.
– YEAH–AHA! YOU IN HERE,
YOU LITTLE MOTHER[bleep]? NOPE. CLOSET LOOK GOOD. DOOR IS STRONG. SO Y’ALL SETTLING IN?
– YEAH. WE’VE BEEN LIVING HERE
A YEAR AND A HALF, SO WE HAVE. – SO, UH, HOW ARE THESE
CUPBOARDS WORKING OUT FOR YOU? MAN, NOBODY IN HERE… BESIDES YOUR STUFF,
WHICH LOOKS GOOD. – THANK YOU. – COMPLETELY UNRELATED– HAVE Y’ALL SEEN A 4’11” DUDE
WITH A PURPLE BEARD UP IN HERE? – NO. NO. NO, NO ONE’S IN HERE… PROBABLY BECAUSE WE LOCK
THE DOOR. – OH, HE GOT THE BODY
LIKE A RAT. HE CAN JUST SQUEEZE
THROUGH THE VENTS. – YEAH. SO YOU THINK SOMEBODY’S HIDING
IN MY APARTMENT? – NO. I TOLD YOU– IT’S JUST A SOCIAL CALL. I MEAN, WHY WOULD GERALD BE
IN HERE, ANYWAY? – GERALD. THERE IS A MAN
WITH A PURPLE BEARD NAMED GERALD IN MY APARTMENT? – HELL, NO! WHY?
DID YOU SEE HIM? HE ABOUT 4’9″,
GOT A PURPLE BEARD. – YEAH. – HEY, BABY–
– [screams maniacally] – [screams]
– UGH! THIS IS–AGH! [grunts] OH.
[laughs] HEY, BABY GIRL. YOU AIN’T GERALD.
[snickers] OH, BY THE BY, HAVE YOU SEEN
A 4’5″ PURPLE BEARD? – BABY… – DEVON, WHAT’S GOING ON? – OKAY, YOU KNOW,
I’M GONNA LEVEL WITH ALL Y’ALL. THERE IS A 4’3″ [bleep]
WITH A PURPLE BEARD NAMED GERALD SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING. – WHY DOES HE KEEP GETTING
SMALLER EVERY TIME YOU MENTION HIM? – SERIOUSLY? ‘CAUSE I DIDN’T WANT
TO ALARM Y’ALL. HE IS DISTURBINGLY SMALL,
REALLY. HE A GOOD GUY. HE SMOKE ROCK, THOUGH. I MEAN, HE’LL DO ANYTHING
TO GET MONEY FOR CRACK. ANYTHING. – OKAY. – I MEAN ANYTHING. – I GET IT. – HE WILL MURDER YOU. – WELL, WE CERTAINLY HOPE
YOU FIND HIM. – OH, I’M GONNA FIND HIM. DON’T WORRY ABOUT THAT, ‘CAUSE I’M GONNA LOOK LOW, AND THEN
I’M GONNA LOOK HIGH. [grunting] – [screams] [both screaming] – GERALD,
YOU TINY LITTLE BITCH! SORRY FOR THE INCONVENIENCE,
Y’ALL. GERALD, WHEN I GET MY HANDS
ON YOU, YOU GONNA BE 2’3″!